9. Cultures collide …

Sadly, the time has come to leave my little island paradise but excitingly, that brings the next stage of my adventure - Indonesia. To get to that destination, I shall get: a boat, a taxi, have an overnight stop, get a taxi, a plane, another plane then a final taxi … and that’s if everything goes smoothly! Once I arrive, I will have crossed into the Southern hemisphere, where the water spirals the opposite direction down a plug hole, I believe. Exciting! To prepare for day’s journeys, at the first airport (Tawau, on Borneo), I treated myself to ‘milk tea’ from the cafe menu … only to watch a sachet be removed from a drawer, added to hot water and the resulting drink to be handed to me. It was an instant packet tea, which tasted mostly of sugar and bore no similarity to actual tea. After than I had a cappuccino, which was served using the same method and the product of which taste exactly the same as the milk tea.

The trip from Mabal island back to the Borneo went remarkably smoothly. The boat passengers were all European. Once we arrived at the port, my taxi was waiting and the kind driver and I formed a team to heave my case into the boot and off we went. 10 minutes into the 2 hour drive, we seemed to be slowing and then pulled over. The driver started with ‘excuse me Miss…’ then went onto ask if I minded if his wife joined us. He very genuinely seemed to be asking and suggesting that if I minded, she wouldn’t and that would be fine. I wasn’t sure how else his wife would get where she needed to and really felt like I had no actual reason to say no. What sort of dreadful person would I be if I didn’t agree? So in the wife got … along with their young son who jumped on her lap on the front seat. I was a little concerned about the safety of this and tried to suggest he sat in the back with me but this seemed to be, I thought, what the driver would consider an inconvenience too far for his paying passenger. Safety doesn’t seem to be a huge concern anyway. I’ve got no idea what the speed limit was - because there is a shocking lack of signs, indeed a stark absence of any road signage at all. You know, for instance, that you’re approaching a roundabout because it’s suddenly in front of you so you break sharply and fly freely round it. We seemed to be motoring along at around 90kmph, neither the driver nor his wife wore a seat belt and the son rested his head on the dash - perhaps proactively adopting the brace position? The reason they refused my offer for the son to sit in the back became clear when we later stopped to pick up two other children who hopped in the back with me. We were just giving them a lift I think as we then stopped and let them out 20minutes later. It worked out well for them all as we didn’t split the taxi cost; I picked up the full fair!

One of the best (mostly!) parts about travelling is that you get to meet people from all around the world and experience a myriad of cultures. In general, I’ve found the Malaysians to be an interesting people and it has been an experience to see the different Borneonian ways of life (I’m relatively sure the actual name for island residents is Bornean but I think my reference is way more fun sounding!). They have a thriving tourist industry that many of them rely on to make a living from. Environmental matters are either not within their sphere of understating or perhaps interest given the first priority, as with anyone really, is survival through making money. The level of wealth / poverty is more evident in living conditions with roadside shacks neighboured by some huge luxury housing. The worst poverty seems to be nearer the sea where the people presumably make any money or survive from the water. It’s shocking then that they don’t look after it better; the litter and state of the sea is beyond belief and illustrative of the total lack of systems for rubbish disposal or inclination to educate or support the very poorest people.

Unlike a lot of SE Asia, cars seem to be the preferred method of transport rather than the moped. Those on mopeds generally seem to have just one person per bike and a helmet isn’t uncommon. Once inside the metal projection of a car though, families, or often small village populations, will pile in and zoom about haphazardly. They don’t need road signs because that would suggest there are rules to follow. The vast majority of people tend to drive on the left but otherwise, it’s a general free for all.

Something else I’ve noticed in Malaysia, as with a lot of Asia, are the toilets - the shape, style and way we use them is significantly different. Since I imagine you are all now interested and would like to read nothing less than a full toilet based explanation, I shall give you one (and have provided photos to illustrate further - just of the toilets I hasten to add, not anything actively in use! Still a treat for you though!)….

The traditional toilets in Asia are the ‘squat’ toilets where there is a hole in the ground and foot placements for the ladies to squat over to do their business. Many of the elder ladies will queue for these toilets rather than use the seated version we know in the UK. The procedure for once you’ve finished is also quite different. Toilet paper seems to be a very western expectation. If there is any available at all, in most places, it is in one dispenser outside the cubical so you have to remember to collect some on your way in or carry an abundance of little travel packs of tissue wherever you go! The alternative to the toilet paper is a little hose pipe next to the toilet … I’m no expert here but I think the intention is that you get the pipe, place as required then give your bits a little spray to clean. However, having used the toilet directly after a local who clearly favours this method, the amount of water that is everywhere, including the floor, walls and all over the toilet seat and cistern, it would suggest that a shower and full body hose down has been employed. What I’m totally baffled by is how they appear to emerge from their toilet cubicle and full shower seemingly, from the outside, totally dry. There is obviously a skill set here that I don’t have. I imagine potty and toilet training must be quite a different process in Asia? The difference in styles and procedures is highlighted by the need for some excellent toilet instructions. I’ve seen these around a number of times and never fail to be a combination of amused and slightly horrified that they’re obviously necessary. I have no idea how it works for men and given the general stink of the female toilets, I have no intention of investigating. If I find out more, I’ll enlighten you …. Something to look forward to!

The other culture or nationality that I have seen or had interactions with here are the Chinese. In general, I suspect because they are another nation who have wealth and disposable income that allows them to travel. The culture and attitudes of the Chinese are possibly the most ‘foreign’ to me. Now of course, I have met some absolutely delightful Chinese people along the way, who are polite, kind, interesting and aware of the existence of other nationalities aside from their own. They seem to be the exception to the general rule though. Like Tories; I’m sure there are one or two of them who, aside from their politics, are delightful and decent human beings … but that’s the exception not the norm.

I learned early that the Chinese seem to have little to no interest or respect for other cultures. They will wear the tiniest hot pants and strappiest, most revealing of tops as they see fit and are both very surprised and put out when made to cover up to enter temples or other places of significance to the Malaysian Muslim and Hindus, who (rightly or wrongly) expect women to be covered from their elbows to below their knees. On my bus tour back on my first day in KL, it was quickly evident that any Chinese people waiting at the stop would be the first to board the bus, irrelevant of when they arrived to the bus stop or where they were in the group waiting. A British lady near by me said, as we were barged out the way: ‘the Chinese always go first’. It’s just their custom I think. I don’t believe they view it as ‘rude’. I’m not sure rudeness is even a concept within their culture now I think about it.

When I got to the gate to board my first flight, the vast majority of my fellow passengers were either Malaysian, who didn’t seem to mind the general chaos of a last minute gate change, shouted instructions on where to queue or the requirement to wait until your seating zone was called to board. There were very few seats at the gate but they were all taken up by able bodied, young Chinese people. There was an elderly Malaysian lady I spotted leaning on a wall and her walking stick, who clearly needed a seat. I looked around waiting for someone to get up for her but since she was a different nationality, the Chinese didn’t notice her. At one point, a young man got up - to go to talk to a friend, not to give up his seat - and the lady made to approach the seat. Another youthful Chinese girl was quicker and  nimbly got their first. The elderly lady proceeded to hobble over and look around for somewhere to sit. I am still utterly horrified and really cross about what I saw …. They all just ignored her and remained in their seats. I was seething. She didn’t approach anyone or ask for a seat but clearly needed one. I gestured to her and asked if she needed to sit down and she was full of smiles and nodded. I turned to a young Chinese girl and told her to get out of her seat because the lady needed to sit. She looked up at me a bit baffled and just stared. I smiled and politely repeated my request while fully supportively, gently taking her arm and getting her to move. She stood up, still confused and I gestured the elderly lady to come and sit down, which she did nodding and smiling at us all. The girl I moved was clearly unimpressed but I don’t care. I obviously got the hierarchy a little wrong though because her friend was then instructed to get up so she could sit down. They just about refrained from pushing the other lady out of her seat although I actually sat on the floor near her because I wasn’t convinced they wouldn’t mount an attack the instant I was gone. I am still cross now just writing about it. It was totally disgraceful and while I understand there are major cultural differences and it’s important to respect and understand that and realise that a lot of it isn’t rudeness or disrespect, it is purely a cultural difference, that display was unacceptable.

I’ll try to stop ranting now although the fun continued when we boarded and the Chinese people just stood in the aisle with their massive wheelie cases until the cabin crew directed them and instructed them on how to lift them and put them into spaces that had to be found, had to be repeatedly ask to take their seats and stop standing about in the aisle both during boarding and in flight during takeoff and when the seatbelt sign was on, both over the tannoy and then the cabin grew had to leave their own seats and put themselves at personal risk to go and directly tell the various Chinese people who were wandering around the sit the F down! They’ve proceeded to cough and splutter at will without any indication that there may be a hygiene concern or potential of spreading disease. The conspiracy theorists who look for explanations for Covid as a being engineered and spread though phone masts from Wutan or whatever crazy ideas they’ve come up with clearly haven’t been around many Chinese people. There is no mystery to how it spread or rampaged through a population so quickly; they choked, coughed and spat it all over each other in abandon!

What it’s also worth mentioning at this point are the many conversations I’ve had with different westerners I’ve met. There’s certainly a divide I would say between ‘us’ and Asia in general but there are also some incredible, interesting and often hilarious differences within the western world. I’ve overheard or been part of a number of conversations including a particularly loud American who explained to everyone around (not because they were all listening but because he was using his ‘outside voice’) that ‘It’s not the legal guns in America that are a problem; it’s the illegal guns’ (this is interesting as it suggests that the legally owned guns don’t kill people …..). He went on to explain that ‘I’ve lived in (can’t remember the name of the place he said but he bellowed that it was an hours’ drive outside of New York) for 8 years and I’ve only been shot at 2 or 3 times’. The reaction to this from everyone was mainly just raised eyebrows or looks of either disbelief at his attitude or sorrow that the gun owners didn’t have better aim.

I will also mention, I’ve had some equally amusing interactions with people asking about the UK.  Brexit is still a topic they ask about - or more often scathingly or disbelievingly comment on as I desperately explain that I voted remain and don’t agree with it then apologise on the behalf of the xenophobic, small-minded and greedy yet totally mislead and incorrect nation that I come from. An Argentinian dive instructor I spoke to commented that I didn’t seem to burn like the rest of the English. She told me I had an amazing tan and was very positive about how she loved my colour. She went on to explain that it was like the spray fake stuff you see, the ‘you know, orange’ tan from bottles. That immediately negated her earlier compliment in the most effective of ways! She tried again to explain she liked it as it was all golden and beautiful. I think she meant that I am a bronzed English goddess. Or something like that. I haven’t actually actively sunbathed at all as it’s so bloody hot but in and out the water and on the dive boats and surface intervals (the time you have to leave between dives to allow the nitrogen in your bloody to fully dissipate) has clearly been enough time in the sunshine!

Amy and Pedro (from the USA,  but you shouldn’t hold that against her, and Portugal) also explained to me that usually English people are the worst to travel with and they would avoid them if they could. When they heard I was from the UK, they assumed we would not get on - in general they think people from the UK that they’ve experienced during their travels are loud, annoying and generally brainlessly opinionated. It was a nice surprise, apparently, to meet someone from England who was an exception to that rule, which is a fabulous compliment I think. Although they found my obsession with delicious cups of tea both quite surprising and amusing as they assumed that was a stereotype that wasn’t actually real! I told them I suspected that the Brits they had come across were either the youthful ones who travel in packs and are often screechy and self-absorbed or those who were public schooled and so have been programmed to have an attitude and expectation not in line with the ‘common’ people. They were also interested to learn that Scotland is part of the UK and that the UK isn’t just an alternate name from England. I enquired as to whether they met many Scots as surely they would have explained that? They both agreed that they had met people from Scotland but that it was by far the most difficult accent to understand so although they had tried to talk to them, they had largely not understood a word they’d said!

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Despite all of the above, both flights went to plan. The wait in KL airport in between meant I was able to get some decent food and find a Costa (the best producers of a ‘proper’ cup of tea of all the big chains, I have found) to get a delicious cup of tea in my travel cup. Although of their first attempt, the staff in fact handed me my cup full the brim of cappuccino, not tea, not tea at all. My face clearly showed my feelings on this error as there was then much apologising and washing of my cup before it was returned with a tea in. My facial expressions are usually so passive and difficult to read so it was odd this time that the error was realised so quickly …… Fortunately I’m not actually too fussy about the coffe in my tea cup crisis, which is a surprise, possibly, given what a tea connoisseur I am!

The flight to Bali was delayed by an hour due, apparently, to typhoon activity over the South China Sea (which is to the East of Vietnam and called something entirely different by the Vietnamese that does not contain the word China. There is such strong feeling / controversy in Vietnam around the name of the sea that when the schools get new atlases there, the teachers spend many a ‘happy’ hour going through them all, putting labels over all mentions of the South China Sea and relabelling it, by hand, with what the Vietnamese call it. I learnt this from a friend of mine who teaches in Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam who when I visited her had spent hours after school that afternoon having been directed to undertake said task before she was allowed to use the atlases with her class! I believe there is also a film released recently, maybe the Barbie movie, that has been banned in Vietnam because it makes mention of the South China Sea. I wonder if there are any Vietnamese people on my flight and if any of them understand the information about where the typhoon is and what has caused our delay?! I’d be interested to know their thoughts on it all.

Anyway, once we took off, our flight was then super chilled with industrial strength air conditioning, which was more refrigeration than cooling, that meant I could see my actual breath when I exhaled and that I put on ALL of the clothes in my hand luggage (luckily I’m carrying loads to keep my main luggage weight down!). It did cool my chocolate bar down to a less melty and easier to eat consistency though so silver linings! Once we landed and the steps were put up to the plane for us to exit onto the tarmac, you had be to be quick to shed some layers as fast as possible to avoid immediately perishing in the tropical heat of Indonesia! There was a fair amount of turbulence on the flight too - at one point the cabin crew were told to stop serving drinks and return to their seats. That never feels like a good sign!

Now, I am safely in my hotel in Bali having forgotten you have to pay for an entry visa but fortunately scraping together enough cash  with a combination of pounds and Malaysian currency to buy one then navigated the ridiculously odd customs declaration that requires you to log into a Balinese website, hand over all the details and info anyone could possibly ask for to steal your identify but that has to be completed in order to be given permission to leave the airport. Tomorrow, I shall have a leisurely day - I haven’t had one of those for roughly 36 hours so I’m sure I deserve it - and enjoy whatever Bali has to offer. First things first, flushing some water down the plug hole to see it swirl the opposite direction to the one I’m used to … then consider that I’ve never actually watched or noticed the direction of the swirls in the northern hemisphere so realise I have no idea if it’s really different or not!